Here comes a whiney drivel...

This week has been one of the worst, scratch that, the WORST i've had since being up here. It all stems from the class I'm in right now, Skills Development III, and the group from hell I've been stuck in. I'll save all the personal bitterness I'm developing for these people and just point out that tomorrow is my last with them for the near future.

For one, it's hard to work with people who don't have the same passion and drive that you do, and it's even harder to work with people who don't respect you. For whatever reason, I've always had problems with people thinking that I'm all smarts and no skill (which my friends are laughing at the smart part). It's plagued me since my days at United and for many things, it's not a problem. When it does become a problem, is when I'm tasked with people who feel as though they already know everything. My personality bumps in to that quite a bit. Sure, I could make it easier for us all, but I'm just as stubborn and bitchy as the rest of them.

So classes have gone horribly; Chef has audibly cursed at me and my group and I've gotten so flustered and frustrated, that I've had to skip lunch in some effort to talk to Chef Kanner about why my group is going down in flames.

Tomorrow, the last day, will be special for me because I can leave class and leave all that crap behind; something I'm totally excited about.

What am I not excited about?

Coming down with the flu in a school that has ZERO tolerance for absence and where the attitude (and i believe rightly so) is that "Chef's get it done." So tomorrow, as I'm dizzy with my 101 degree fever, I'm going to remember that I chose this and that I'm paying for it. Literally.

I'm starting to learn what it's like to be away from home, the good and the bad. As the holidays approach, I'm stuck in this weird feeling where I want to be home, but I just want to visit. I want to pick up the things I want to have with me (whitney!) and return up here to finish what I've started. But along those same lines, I want the comfort and holiday vibe of Lubbock.

I miss my family, my dog (more than I can explain) and above all, my lady-friend Whitney. It's hard being away from someone for so long. I probably shouldn't go any further in my cloudy flu-infested mind, but it's hard when you feel like you're growing away from each other a little.

I'm sure that's just a perception, but it's weird.

I'll stop whining now. I'm actually very happy, very satisfied with where I am in life. I FEEL like I'm doing something, going somewhere, going to be something... That's a feeling I've never felt and it's very empowering to spend time learning something that not everyone knows. Now if I could just find a way to find the same comfort I had at home...