It's like movie makers are going out of their way to make your bladders explode these days. The reason these types of movies are so long is because all you book reading nazis who go to see these movies always come out saying "the book was better" like you would be able to tell a screenplay from your asshole in the first place. It's not meant to be a book, it's meant to be a movie. Why are all these people going to see the movie if they've read the book anyway? You think anyone cares about all the discrepancies you find? You're not a master detective, and reading a book does not make you an authority. Just sit down, shut the hell up and endure the movie. It's almost like they do it for the smug satisfaction of being able to tell all their annoyed friends in the car "I knew about this a long time ago," as if it was some big secret they discovered. It's the same type of person who if they recommend music to you and heaven forbid you like it, they always have to remind you by chiming in with "yeah, I found it." Great going Magellan, now see if you can find a ride home.

Maddox (the best page in the universe) is angry, and anger proves to be a great selling point for his website. It's hard to find intelligent anger and sarcasm these days.
My top 4 favorite articles are:
1) Seven reasons why the xbox can suck it
2) Michael Newdow: feel free to exercise your right to bl*w me
3) When is the last time a whale did anything for you?
4) Reality check: you drive a Civic, not a race car.