I can see the face of a handsome black man in his late 20s. I see how his eyes are closed on an expressionless face, and his head lolls with the van. As the van edges up Ashby to Alta Bates, I realize that it was in no hurry. I realize that what I had originally assumed to be a resting EMT, then one filling out a little paperwork, is actually a man steadfastly keeping his gaze lowered to avoid the face of the dead man he's sharing the van with.